Beautiful Weekend!!

This has been an absolute, amazingly beautiful weekend!!! Jenn & Lee tied the knot Saturday at Edisto Beach and are now Mr & Mrs Barkley!!! :)! Pictures are posted to my facebook if you want to see them but here is the happy couple:

 

It was a beautiful ceremony on Edisto Beach with many of their close friends and family!! The day couldn't have been more perfect!! Joey officiated a beautiful service! I loved the "Holy ground" part where he asked everyone to take off their shoes before he prayed because we were standing on Holy ground. How is the beach Holy ground you ask?? Well, because everywhere God is present, it's Holy ground...and God was definitely present at this wonderful joining of man and wife!

The reception was held closer to home and we all partied til almost midnight!! Great food, awesome dance moves, wonderful mix of music, very sweet bartender, beautiful decorations, great friends, and tons of laughs!! There were so many inside jokes I don't think I could list them all if I tried!! I vote this wedding the best of 2010!!! :)

After the wedding festivities were over I came home and literally crashed! Slept off the drinks I had (new favorite, but only had two over the course of the night!) til about 930 Sunday morning!! My Sunday was filled with selling stuff off craigslist, errands, and homework! (Saturday morning was filled with packing packing and more packing!!) 

My new job is going great!! I do miss the girls' I worked with but I'm really enjoying this new phase of my life. It is a long and tiring drive to and from work and I can no longer get up 20 min before and be there on time, but the perks of the job are worth it! My boss has been out of town this last week so it's been a bit hectic but that's okay. I'm grateful I can wear jeans and a top every day and not necessarily a "uniform" per say. I'm very grateful for the hours I get each week and most days the hours fly by so I'm grateful for that too (because the days don't drag by!). 

I have less than 3 weeks til I move into my new apartment!! I am so far behind packing stuff its not even funny!! I get keys in two weeks and intend to start moving little things like clothes and groceries and such so that there wont be so much "little" stuff to move on moving day! I'm super grateful for the people who are going to be helping me move! Hopefully we can all get it done in a couple hours and it won't take all day!

This week I need to officially change my address and get that paperwork rolling. Then I need to decide what I'm going to do for internet (ugh) and I have to call my utility companies and set a date to have the utilities shut off in this house. I need to find out if I can cancel my house insurance once the foreclosure process officially starts or if I have to keep it for a while! So much to do and so little time!! And have to accomplish it in between work and classes and packing!!

Classes are going well!! Maintaining an A so far which is a sigh of relief!! Started a debate in English class which can be read under "Notes" on my facebook page. Aced my first computer test and B'd my first Art test! Getting ready to pay off CSU from my stupid summer course that I took and then I'll officially be withdrawn from there.

That about catches you up on the Life of Jess right now. I'm gonna head on in to bed here in a few and get ready to start another week!! God is so good and I'm so thankful for my Catalyst family!! I can't believe its been almost 2 years since He brought us together!!! Here we are in the very beginning:

 And here's part of us today:

God has been doing amazing work in each of our lives individually and has done some amazing things for us as a group!! I'm so thankful that He put me in the right place at the right time! I wouldn't be who I am today without the wisdom, encouragement, love, and support from this wonderful group of people!! :)

Tribute to 9/11

My Thoughts and Feelings of September 11, 2001

“Where were you when the world stopped turning…?” by Alan Jackson is a song that will never let us forget September 11, 2001. I, for one, will never forget where I was when I heard that awful news. Sitting in Mrs. Jenkins’ 3^rd period English class at Summerville High School, the principal came over the PA system, told us what was going on, and asked for a moment of silence.

Some took the time to pray, while others just showed respect by indeed staying quiet. Life took on a different meaning for America. Red, white, and blue burst out all across the US. Song artists almost immediately began to write, sing, and record songs meant to commemorate this day. Flags went up on cars, houses, and poles. Stores were even selling out of flags because so many people were showing their pride and support for America.

Life took on a different meaning for myself, too. Though I did not lose any friends or family, my heart went out to those who did. I watched the plane that crashed into the towers and the Pentagon. Then there was the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania. Thousands of innocent people lost their lives that day and watching, hearing, feeling their pain, my heart just broke in two.

I thought of the kids whose parents were not going to be home to tuck them into bed. Of the wives whose husbands were fighting to save others, and yet lost their lives in the line of duty. I thought of the husbands whose wives would not return from work that night and of the people who called family and friends for one last goodbye. The babies and young children who would never know one, or perhaps both, of their parents never left my mind.

As I watched the news coverage on nearly every channel, my heart went out to EVERYONE as they dealt with the horror of this and came to the reality that it really was happening. Tears fell down my cheeks as I listened to the many stories of the survivors and read the many emails that were circulated. The pictures that were all over made me gasp in shock. I thanked God that my family was not among those who lost loved ones; that my friends and people I know were not there when the planes crashed. I thanked God for the fact that I would go home to my parents and my sisters that evening, while many would not.

Showing my love and respect for my country has become even more important now than before. When family or friends are flying, I literally hold my breath until I know for sure that they are safely at their destination. Security measures have increased drastically all over America since 9-11, but it does not ensure America’s safety. All the security measures in the world will never make me feel 100% safe. A terrorist, a bomb; anything like this can slip by security, at anytime.

September 11 has caused me to rethink life. I feel that I have a higher respect for my family, my friends, and myself. Also, for the authorities that risk their lives everyday for me, and for people in general. My faith in God has become stronger. Without Him I, and many, many others would never have made it through this tragedy. No one is granted life and for each of us it will end one day. No one can or should take life for granted and 9-11 has definitely caused more and more people to cherish every single moment they have.

Like Pearl Harbor, Attack on America 9-11 is the one day that will never be forgotten by any American across the nation. The memories, the fright and the terror of this day will be passed down from generation to generation for centuries to come.

Things have changed in America, and this attack will go down in the history books. But for now, and forever,

May God Bless America!!

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Written on 9-11-02

Underneath It All

As we watched the flag fly high in the sky

And heard the bells in church steeples chime,

We felt the earth tremble with fear,

As planes crashed into buildings

And people screamed with terror

There were people above and people below

Many with no place to go

With phones they called loved ones

For one last goodbye

They knew they’d never see again

The faces of their family and friends.

Firefighters, policemen, and emergency crew

All trying to save one, even two.

Hundreds of strangers who had the courage

To surrender their lives that day, 9-11.

Red, white, and blue burst forth all over,

Flags with stars and stripes sold out,

Strangers joined hands in prayer

And volunteers came together

To help America out

In her chaotic time of despair.

God Bless the USA!!!!

 

  

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Written on 3-26-03

Let Freedom Ring

Red, white, and blue

To America we will stay true.

The flag flys proud

Against the clouds

So let freedom ring,

Let freedom ring.

The eagle soars above the trees

Against the glittering sun.

The Statue of Liberty stands guard at the harbor

Reflective of the job already done

So let freedom ring,

Let freedom ring.

  Copyright 2001-2010 Dance of Thoughts

9/11 Bud Commercial - AIRED ONLY ONCE

The Love Dare

While I'm Waiting

This was one of the many songs I felt like was my "theme song" during my divorce while I waited for God to work. I chose to cling to Him and allow him to move in my life. I continued to praise Him and ask Him for His guidance even when it seemed that all hope was lost. No it wasn't that my marriage would work out, it was asking Him to take care of me and walk me through the valley, while making me a stronger person. It was a very low valley many many times. But God is faithful! He not only walked with me through that valley, but He has brought me to the mountain-top in so many areas of my life ! I am truly thankful for everything I had to go through to get to where I am today. I pray that if you are having trouble in your marriage that you would seek guidance, counseling, and truly search your heart before giving up. God gives us many tools to do so, but He is also faithful to give us peace when we've truly and wholeheartedly done everything possible to save our marriage.Cling to Him, He will not fail you!

The Love Dare

Seasons are Changing

This is not going to be a long blog but I wanted to share a few things before I fall asleep! I'm moving into my 2nd week at the new job, which is going wonderfully well. Also moving into my 3rd week of classes at Trident Tech (more in a bit). I'm continuously packing and decluttering in preparation for my move in just over 5 weeks!! Life has been absolutely crazy here lately!!

JOB
Monday August 30th I started a new job as an Inside Sales Rep for a tool supply company. Even though I dont know hardly anything about these tools/nuts/bolts/etc I am really enjoying the job. I work with 4 guys who are great and very understanding that I will ask them the same question a million times over ( I just want to get it right :)). The hours seem to fly by and although I dont care for the longer drive or the traffic, so far its been okay. Getting up early still proves to be a challenge, especially since I'm a night owl and it takes forever for me to settle into bed at night. But God willing it will become a habit and come easier as the days go by.

SCHOOL
This fall I transferred to Trident Tech College (TTC) in order to take more classes for less money. CSU was just getting too expensive and I really wasn't digging the business degree classes. So I changed my major to Associate of Arts which seems to suit me much better. I'm hoping to get into the Journalism & Creative Writing classes by next fall after getting some core credits out of the way. I am still doing the online classes so I'm basically at my own pace and just have to make the due dates. So far so good. I"m taking English 101; CPT 102 (computer); and Western Art History 108. The art history isn't exactly interesting as I care nothing about art from those time periods, but it is a fairy easy and enjoyable class so I can't complain. English is fairly easy too...basically just reading stories and giving your opinion. Later on I think we have a paper to write (like a big paper). Just got the assignment for the first paper---500 words. Not too bad just time consuming. And computer of course is pretty much a piece of cake, just takes a lot of time getting stuff done. So Lord willing I will maintain my high GPA again this fall. The business finance class at CSU over the summer I finally finished after a lot of torture and stress and ended up with a B somehow (Thank YOU GOD!!). Still brought my GPA down to a 3.8 but at least I passed with fairly flying colors!

CATALYST
Catalyst is wonderful! I am so thankful every one of my church family is in my life!! Daily I am thankful for what God has done for us and for me through them! It is a beautiful thing to be a part of something so incredibly real!! Words are hard to describe what I have found in my church!! Honestly the best way to know is to come see for yourself!! We're crazy people who love the Lord and strive to do His will!!

HOME
As said above I am in the final weeks of being in my neighborhood of 18 years and my home of almost 5 years. It is a bittersweet moment and it has hit me a few times that everything I know as "home" is going to change very soon!! Sooner than I'm ready I think. I will miss the simple things, like my crepe myrtle trees, my azalea bushes, my flower bed I've worked so hard on, being able to watch my neighbors come and go, being able to walk across the yard to Nana's or down the street to Mom & Dad's, having the room to dog sit for friends, letting my dog run the space of 2 full front yards after his tennis ball... I grew up here and I know the majority of the people that live in the close vicinity of my house. I will miss surprise visits from my family when they're out walking the dog or something and just stop by. It's amazing how much we take for granted!

On the other hand I am excited and looking forward to moving into my own little apartment and having that chance to start over with a clean slate. I am trying to declutter like a mad woman so I dont have to move so much of this stuff but I'm afraid its still going to be a lot to move. I'm kind of embarrassed that as one person I have so much to move!!! I have packed a ton of boxes and you can't really tell. Although I will say parts of my house are starting to look empty as I pack some things away.

I have been picking out colors and such for my new place. Of course I can't (or won't) paint, but I have picked out colors for my bathroom, "theme" for my living room, colors for my kitchen, and in my head I've been arranging furniture and stuff. I'm so excited that I get to take my porch swing with me! I was seriously going to cry if I wouldn't have been able to put it up at the apartment. Its just a simple one bedroom one bath but there is a lot of storage space and big windows that let in a lot of light and a screened in patio too. I'm on the second floor so although it is a bit of a hike to move stuff in (or out one day), it will be well worth it. I'm looking forward to the pool and the fitness center too.

Well, guess I wrote a bit more than intended tonight huh? Ah well hope you enjoyed catching up with me.

"And joy comes in the morning.."

I reference the 2nd part of the verse from Psalm 30:5 because that is where I feel I am right now. The verse says: "Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." and I have, in a sense, been "weeping" for a long time. Now, I am finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Joy has exploded in my life and although there is still a lot going on I haven't been this happy or this at peace in a very long time! 

If you've kept up with my blog, you know that my divorce was final the end of July! It was as if as soon as the judge ruled, the clouds open and the heavens poured down upon me! I had a wonderful lunch with my Mom and my Nana and then while browsing through a gift shop I got a phone call which led me to a job interview! That job fell through, but the day after that first interview I landed one at a shop about five minutes from where my Dad works. I was called back the next day for a second interview and three days later I was hired!! I start that job on the 30th of this month! I am excited because it will be more hours which lead to a better paycheck, plus there are benefits after three months, and it will be a whole new experience! The downfall is that it means getting up 2 hours earlier than what I'm used to! 

On top of the divorce being final, the new job practically falling in my lap (all praise goes to GOD for that!!), and finally feeling like I'm "free" again.....I am losing the house. It's okay though. I've done everything possible and maybe far more than most people would, to attempt to save it. But even if I kept it, I wouldn't be able to make payments AND do the repair work that's needed. So...I've signed a lease on a cute one bedroom apartment across town. I'm excited but anxious/nervous about moving away from "home"! Haha...25 and just now "moving away from home". Sounds kinda funny but its true! I've practically been in this neighborhood for all of the last 18 1/2 years (save for 7 months) ! I know the majority of the people here, if not by name, then at least by face or what car they drive. I'm at the front of the neighborhood so I feel like the "monitor" for everyone...who's coming/who's going and when! LOL!! I will miss not being right next door to my Nana, or able to literally walk down the street to my parents. I'll miss not being able to have my family walk by and 'drop' in to see me at random times!! And vice versa. I'll miss my yard (as cruddy as it can be at times); I'll miss my crepe myrtle trees, my azalea bushes, and my front flowerbed I've worked so hard on for the last 4 years!! This is silly but I'll miss my monkey grass!! I love cutting that back in the spring and watching it come back full and green!!  Right now I'm not sure if I'll be able to take my porch swing with me and if I can't I'm probably for sure going to cry because that is the one place I love to be in my house when the weather is perfect. I am hoping to take it with me, though and be able to use it! I guess the majority of my emotions just goes back to the feeling of safety -- although in recent months my n'hood isn't so safe! -And on that same note I feel like it's my job to watch out for my family too and if I'm not here I won't know what's going on.....and it also goes back to being moved out of my comfort zone into uncharted territory. But as a good friend put it for me... it's a step of faith. This whole journey has been one step of faith after another. God hasn't failed me yet..why would He start now? He provided many ways for me to stay in the house as long as I have, He provided the money for bills and groceries, He provided the "tools" He knew I would need against Satan when Satan tried to pull me down into the pit of despair, He put the right people in the right place at the right time to encourage, inspire, love, and carry me through. He has been so good!! I'm so thankful that I chose to cling to Him through the rough times of the last year and half or so!! I can't imagine turning my back on God in something as awful as what I've been through.  I think it's important to stop and share some verses from Romans with you. These are from Romans 8 and it starts in verse 31 (this is from the NIV version): " ³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:  "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I am on the verge of starting three new classes at Trident Tech this week too. I'll be taking English, Art History, and a computer course this semester!! I just finished a crappy class from CSU that I almost failed! In fact, the final grades aren't anywhere close to being in so I really don't know what I have in it!! Anyway, three classes on top of a new job and moving is going to be quite the stress but I hope I can handle it and keep my GPA up! I'm hoping to be able to take the journalism and creative writing courses that are offered at tech. I want to get back to writing. I have a ton of unfinished "work" that I want to finalize and then I want to look into getting a book "really" published! And I especially want to get my kids book's written!!

This is going to be a very crazy semester for me!! What a great time in my life though!! Life is finally starting to look up and I can "look back and see how far I've come"! God has been working wonders in my life and I'm so thrilled that I can see that!! He has allowed me to through hell (and yes, I consider what I've been through to be "hell" for me!) and come out stronger on the other side so that I can minister to others who are in the shoes I've walked through. Whether its because they are going through a divorce or because they are lacking in faith or scared that people won't love them when they know the "real stuff", God has already used me several times to minister to them! I am so thankful that our God is a God who brings healing to the sick and brokenhearted and who is able to bring something wonderful out of the worst of our pain. Although there were times when it just didn't seem like it was ever going to get any better, I don't think I ever doubted God. I felt hopeless and ready to give up over and over, but I don't think I could say I doubted Him. He had me surrounded by guardian angels who refused to give up on me! Even if they had to repeat the same thing over and over to me!! He is SOO GOOD!! 

This has been a journey of ups and downs, mountains and valleys, joys and trials. Yet at every turn God met me there. He met me and has taught me to better rely on Him ! He has given me the joy of tithing, He has given me the joy of being real with the people I care most about! He has given me the opportunity to be an instrument of healing in someone else's life -- that is all through Him, I take NO credit for it! He has given me peace about the things I've had to give up....yes that started with my marriage, and has now moved to my house. Like I said , though, it's okay. It's the step of faith that will make me stronger. God is opening the doors wide for me right now and I am ready to walk through them....backed by the support of family and friends who believe in me and will support me through anything.

I leave you with this verse, which also happens to be a beautiful song:

Isaiah 40:30-31

" Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD  will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

"This Classy & Sassy Carolina girl...."

So yesterday, July 30, 2010 will forever be marked in my book as the day I became a MS.!!! (It's also my Mom's birthday!!)

Yes, July 30, 2010 "this Classy & Sassy Carolina girl declared her independence! By state of SC she is no longer a 'Mrs.'"!! The last 5 years of my life finally came to a triumphant close! I can't tell you how freeing that day felt!! I really thought I'd be a little sad but I was on Cloud 9 ALL day!! I was a little nervous at first but it was because of having to see my ex rather than the actual court hearing! It really seemed at times that that day would never come!! I went through hell to get there (yes, I said hell) but God held on to me and pulled me through every trial, even when I couldn't see Him working! He surrounded me with awesome people the last almost 2 years specifically because he knew just how much I would need those people in my life through this journey! I am so thankful for Catalyst--my church--who have picked me up and carried me through more times than I can count when I didn't think I could make it; when I wanted to give up and quit!! The love, encouragement, hope, laughs, tears, and joy that we've shared have been more than I ever imagined!! 

There is are still many loose ends right now and the journey is far from over, but the divorce is final and that is a huge chapter that needed to close! Yes, my marriage ended in divorce but that's okay! I am a much better and happier person because of that! God has taught me a lot and truly I would do it all over again to become the person I am today.

I am excited, nervous, scared, and completely unsure of my next few steps in life. Right now I am still trying for that better/2nd job, and I'm in the process of transferring stuff to TTC and changing my major to Associate in Arts instead of business. I am probably, no, not probably, I AM going to lose the house one way or another. Whether I sell it, short sale it, or let it go to foreclosure, on my income I cannot afford it. I have kept it as long as possible, and now I have to be graceful as I let it go. Granted there are still a few things that could work out that would make it possible to keep it another few months but ultimately I have to get out. I just don't know exactly where to go or what to do. Rent is not cheap around here nor are there very many "good" places to rent at. I've been looking at other possibilities too but nothing has come as of yet.

I know exactly what I would like to happen, but right now it almost seems impossible. Well it does seem impossible! I keep saying I'd like to move out of town and experience something new. But I think I'm afraid that I would do that and then it wouldn't work out and I'd be stuck.  But on the other hand, I don't want to get 5 or 10 years down the road wishing I would've done this and regretting that I didn't!!!! Argh!! Decisions!!

We'll see what pans out I guess. I'd like to pick up my writing career again too! Hoping to take some creative writing/journalism courses when I transfer to tech and get my cores out of the way!

I have found a new verse that has beautiful meaning to my life. Psalm 18:19 says, "He delivered me because He delighted in me."  And an old favorite is Psalm 121: 1-2, " I will lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and earth."

My new "life" quote is as follows:

"Dance like nobody's watching. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's heaven on earth. Dance. Live. Laugh. Love. Sing."