Honest & Raw Thoughts

After a conversation with my hubby today, I am revisiting couponing, revamping MK, and searching for any way to make a dollar/save a dollar in the next 5 months. We have a ton of debt to pay off, a baby on the way, and our poor pantry needs to be desperately stocked!! We have discussed that unless the job market improves significantly by Christmas, it probably will not make much sense for me to go back to work after baby is born....any kind of childcare is amazingly expensive and would probably be more than my check is in a month. Plus I don't value putting my child in daycare. Of course, a lot has to happen between now and then...one of us has to work to pay bills at least!!

 With hope and a prayer, hubby will land this job at the local gun shop to work part time while in school, full time when not. Another hope and prayer is I will land this fantabulous part time job I interviewed for (which has a high possibility of becoming full time with good pay). Our housing allowance will take care of rent and my checks b/t now and then will help with the rest. We've cut our cable TV, are looking at different phone plans, have sold all that is able to be, don't go to the movies, I've stopped my manicures, & we try not to eat out too much (hard habit to break!!). I take the interstate to work to hopefully save on gas & try to combine all shopping into one round trip. We have been shopping Bilo to get fuel perks, we're on WIC & SNAP benefits, I'm on medicare to pay for all the doctor related baby stuff, and we're brainstorming any other ways to save money/increase income in this dreary, high unemployment area.

When this degree is finished, we are looking forward to moving to a smaller city, where the cost of living might not be so high!! We both thought moving to Charlotte would be a great step in the right direction for our family to get back on our feet. Big city surely would have lots of jobs.....not. Turns out moving to Charlotte has only put us farther into debt and held us back from where we could possibly be. However, we have met some good friends whom otherwise we would have never known, and we have been learning to depend on each other, since each other is all we have up here. Hind-sight's 20/20, but had we known, we would have stayed put in Charleston for a little bit longer...he would have gone to TTC & I would have found a job somewhere. We cannot undo what we have done, so we continue to push forward!

We've still got a long way to go and if a few certain things don't hurry up and happen, I'm not sure what we are going to do. BUT .... I have excelled at couponing in the past, I have built my MK business in the past and we can do it again. We can be better at how our money is spent and we can continue to find any way to increase our household income. We can get off our lazy duff's and find a church to belong to. It has been way too long since we've been in church and I'm certain that is a huge part of the issue.

I want to be debt free! I want to have a fully stocked kitchen again! I don't want to have to worry about which bills get paid, do groceries get bought, or do we buy critter food or our food? We essentially have 3 children to support (2 from his first marriage and our 1st), and we have to find a way to support ourselves before that can happen. 

It has been so frustrating not being able to make ends meet..not just for me but for my husband also. We've basically been a one car family since the spring when our/my Xterra decided to start acting up. She is 10 years old almost, but it always happens when I don't have the funds to fix it! Right now, we think she might need an alternator and thankfully someone has helped us out a little bit, but if that isn't the issue, then what?? We can't afford a new/used vehicle right now and the xterra isn't worth anything to trade it in. So we shall see.

It has also been incredibly frustrating trying to get our house organized and not having the funds to buy simple things to make that happen. And, knowing we have a baby on the way and not able to start buying baby things is even worse!!! 

I say all this to encourage ourselves & you to keep our heads up! I have honestly been incredibly negative the last few months (not like me) and it has worn me down and out. Owing tons of money to lots of people/companies & not able to pay all the monthly bills, kills both of us and I've allowed that to drag me down, down, down. 

So here we are. Five months pregnant, five months to go. Two weeks until school starts and still waiting on VA paperwork. One car family when we really need two. Outstanding debt every which way and not a dime to put towards it. Part time income that doesn't even begin to cover rent for a month. Something has to give and it has to give soon. Over a year of this is enough. Enough is enough. 

We will survive this. We will march through this and come out with soaring colors on the other side. There has to be a silver lining somewhere, a rainbow behind the clouds. Things have to get better! 

And here is to that happening. Here is to the victory that awaits. Here is to the light at the end of the tunnel. Here is to us...working to make a better life for ourselves and our children. 

Psalms 18:19.......He delivered me because He delighted in me.

Random Want-To-Do List for Summer

So here's my random want to do list for summer 2012:

Clean up my computer...run all the cleanups/updates/virus scans/etc & uninstall anything that isn't being used or pertinent to my computer.

Organize all my photos and files on my computer & backup hard drive. Delete what I don't need/use and back up the whole thing when I'm done.

Upload pictures to snapfish or shutterfly so I can make them into scrapbooks/albums and get them printed quickly as specials come my way.

Organize passwords/log-ins and delete accounts of things I no longer use/have a need for.

Organize all my iTunes music/music on my computer/music on CD's etc so I can find what I'm looking for, delete songs I don't like/have multiples of, and create new, organized playlists.

Clean up and clean out ALL my email addresses and delete the OLD ones!! Unsubscribe from all the junk I get in my folders and organize the folders.
(Wow, a lot of PC housekeeping in my future!!)

Scan into my computer (and organize) all the papers in the scan pile.

Update savings list from couponing.

Make keeping the checkbook/bank account balanced a high priority (starting now). Keep a calender current for bills due, etc.

Research a way to either convert VHS to DVD or replace most of the VHS movies.

Research a way to better store DVD & CD's (music and computer) without taking up so much space.

Organize and label all electronic cords, parts, etc!!

Clean out and organize all scrap book/craft stuff.

Find a sewing machine. Cut "quilt" pieces. Make said quilt.

Have $1000 sales in Mary Kay!!

Rambles of 2012

I'm sitting here in my rocker on the front porch of our townhouse listening to the rain fall. There's a slight breeze blowing and oh, how it feels delightful. I haven't done this in a very long time and I gaze out across the city lights I realize I need to this more often. So relaxing.

I haven't blogged in a really long time and so much has happened since Lilly got hurt. She is completely healed now and running the show like the queen she that she is. Her eye never returned to normal and her little tongue sticks out a bit but other than that she came through with flying colors. Her bill on the other hand...yeah lets just say it will be a long time before that is paid off.

The last few months have been incredibly frustrating and very stressful. The biggest issue over everything else is, of course, finances. I truly believed we'd be back on our feet by now, but yet we're still struggling to make ends meet. It seems like the harder we try the farther behind we fall. I'm exhausted most of the time and still have school work to do, a house to clean, errands to run, bills to pay. It never ends. Work has been probably the best job I've had in a long time--I love the people I work with!! It's a great place to be and for the most part everyone works great as a team.

We had four days to move out of our apartment when we finally found a place we could afford that would accept our pets and our crappy credit. Took 3 of those 4 days to move everything because for the most part we were doing it ourselves...thankfully we had a few people help us though. Finally we were moved in and the keys to the old place turned in! I love our new place--its a 2 story townhouse with hardwood floors downstairs, stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, front loader washer/dryer, tile in the bathroom, granite countertops, 2 bed, 1.5 bath, with a little patio out back. It's small but we're making it work. I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff and trying to make a home for everything else. We still need a TV stand and some bookcases, and either two more dining chairs or some bar stools. A dresser & bed for the girls are in the works and hopefully we'll have that taken care of soon. We've decided to turn the 2nd bedroom into an office that can double as a guest room & the girls' room.

I'm hoping to start work with a caterer as their marketing associate. It won't probably pay much to start but hopefully it will be consistent & they will build quickly.  I've been trying to get back on track with  Mary Kay too but it's been hard starting over in a new city where I don't know very  many people. And since I work the close shift I don't have an evening free to go to the meetings up here.

The wedding of course is still set for June 9. We're not going to do much for it....honestly considering literally just saying "I do" without the people, cake, photographer, etc. I really do want it to be nice of course but there isn't a whole lot of wiggle room and we still have to buy the rings and the dress and such. Sigh. It'll all work out.

More soon...

A Late Praise

**Obviously, this is a VERY old post-in-the-making that I apparently forgot to finish!! **


WOW has God been amazing in my life or what!?! seems like every time i turn around he has something new in store for me! you know i went through hell for a couple years and truly wondered if i would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel! and i tell you what it seems that as soon as the judge declared me legally divorced, the heavens opened and have poured down on me continuously!

1/14/11
It's been a rough week! I think the weather has contributed a lot to my sour mood and not feeling well. I am dealing with some sort of allergy or severe dry skin on my eyes and that makes it hard to get through the day!! 
School is back in session! I got both my books for $70 vs over $100 each brand new or used from the school bookstore. !!! I'm only taking Eng and Hist this semester, in hopes that dropping to two classes will help me bring up my GPA again and be able to keep up with studies! The plan is to take math in the Maymester & a science this summer. Not that i really want to be in school for 12 mo out of the year but I'm determined to finish sooner rather than later and this is the only way to do it!
January brings terrible budgeting issues! I went way over budget in Dec -- mostly needless spending! I am trying to catch back up and get back on track! Thankfully my current bills are not too far behind, although I do have some outstanding bills from the past that need to be paid (lawyer, sewer from house, etc).!!

2/14/11
WOW!! What a journey of the last few weeks! I was reunited with an old friend from high school. One that I hadn't seen or heard from in ten years. Little did I know what was in store for us ... we met up for dinner one night and spent a few hours talking ... when he hugged me good bye--neither of us wanted to let go ... it was like everything clicked into place with that one hug .. like it was always meant to be .. yet I still resisted him and tried really hard not to let a relationship form. He was persistent though and kept on gently making me fall for him :) So now we've been dating for about 2-3 weeks and its like it was always meant to be! 

Quiet Soltitude with Pro's & Cons

It is well past midnight as I sit in our new apartment browsing the web for ideas on how to organize this small space and keep our home and life from being CHAOS! I realized that, while I don't love this apartment or very much about it, there are a few things I am enjoying. I thought I would share those with you tonight.
I love the fact that this particular apartment is on the backside of the complex facing a wooded area that separates it from the neighboring townhomes (which are breathtakingly beautiful!!). This means that we have no neighbors peeking in and can leave the windows open wide to let in the fresh, crisp, fall air!! I can sit and listen to the sounds of nature all day and night and only very rarely hear anything else. The occasional siren or car horn is about all I ever hear.
I do love that the bathroom vanity has drawers! Drawers are so useful in the bathroom and I wish more house builders would incorporate them!! It makes so much more sense than endless wasted space below the sink that is found in so many bathrooms!! The bathroom also is home to a decent size linen closet, which is another feature I think every home should have. The bigger the home, the bigger the linen closet! The tub is a garden tub with a tile wall surrounding it on three sides. Again, a nice feature. I have a dislike for small, claustrophobic tubs!
I LOVE the "desk" nook that you see as you enter the apartment. It has three shelves and room for a desk chair. It would be better if it were tiled which would accommodate the desk chair more easily but it'll do!
The closet space in the master bedroom and the coat closet when you enter the apartment are wonderful! Until my last apartment I had very little closet space and had never had a coat closet ever! Talk about spoiled now!! The master bedroom itself is a pretty spacious room, too, with three windows to let in gorgeous weather!
What else about this little place do I like?? The porch is big and spacious. Not screened in so that cats can't go outside but it has plenty of room on it for my rockers, the deep freezer, and some plants, too.
Ah, yes, that leads me to say that there is no outlet on the porch. There should be, I think! I haven't plugged in my deep freezer yet because it is on the porch and we haven't figured out the best way to run an extension cord to it. I'm afraid if we ran it through a window, we would either damage the cord because the window would have to stay shut, or we'd risk the cats getting out because the window was partially open. Furthermore, I hate to think of doing any kind of "damage" to the window/screen/wall since that would probably incur extra fees from the apartment.
In the bathroom, the two sink (another plus!) drains and tub drain, do not, well, drain. We stand in ankle deep water to shower and my sink is nearly half full by the time the water is hot enough to wash my face. I plan to run Drain-O down it this week and see if that helps!
The kitchen, while open, does not have hardly enough pantry or cupboard space for us at all. We are making do by only pulling out the most necessary items and keeping the rest in boxes and/or in storage. Talk about living on a minimum amount of stuff!!
One other odd thing about this apartment is that the bedroom door opens outward into the living room. I've never seen such a thing! That and the light switches are in weird places too!! Not a real complaint, just an observation.
Well, I think this post came from learning to be happy and make the best of what I have until I can afford something better. I could sit and complain all day about how tiny this place is or how its not as upgraded as I want, etc., but instead I try to look at the positive side and be thankful that it came open at the right time, the deal didn't fall through, we can afford it and didn't have to sign a whole new lease (just took over one), it is in a great area of town and is close to just about everything.
Hope this encourages you to look at the positive side, the glass half full, the brighter side of life!
JR~

Moving...What A Chore!

Moving. If you haven't done it, and don't have to...don't!
Since Friday morning, we have spent a total of 4 days moving stuff, 2 days loading the truck, countless trips up and down stairs, and 2 additional trips back home for a total of 3 extra car loads of, well, junk!! Additionally, there were countless hands that helped out from the very beginning when we decided to move to the unloading of the moving truck!
Overall, we were on our own this move. Very few peoples were available to help us load or unload the truck. That made for a very long two days of loading the truck. We are so happy to have the majority of it over with. Still a few things to pick up at my parents house, but that's for another trip!
When you start packing to move, you realize just how much stuff you really have and you find yourself asking questions like, where did this come from? Why do I have this?? Why do I have multiples of the same thing? I think the majority of people start off trying to be super organized at the beginning of a moving process, but quickly that leads to everything being thrown into a box marked "miscellaneous". Um, yeah, that leads to not being able to find a single thing when you start unpacking!!
So all that to say, here are a few tips that might help you on your next move!
*Don't buy boxes! Ask friends & family to hold boxes for you from home, work, and school! Paper boxes are amazing!
*Packing material: newspaper works if that's what you have on hand, but if you can get plain butcher paper that would be better. It won't smear onto your dishes & other fragile items!
*Use small boxes for books. Yes, it makes for more boxes, but they will be easier to handle!
*Depending on how much time you have to pack for a move, go through magazines, catalogs, etc. and tear out out the pages with articles, pictures, products, etc. that you want to save. File them into an accordion file (or bigger if you need it) by catagory (i.e. Gardening, Cleaning, Vacations, Recipes) and donate/trash/pass on the magazines. Saves room!
*You can never have too much packing material around or in fragile items. It is worth buying the bubble wrap to use! Make sure the box isn't too heavy and nothing jingles/moves around when GENTLY shook!!
*Use towels to line your fragile boxes with...makes for a cushion on the bottom and protection on the top.
*Before a move, make a pile/designate a shelf for anything that is open--cleaners, food, soon-to-expire products. Use as much as up as you can before you move. Bless your neighbor with the rest of it or trash it appropiately.
*Make a donate pile and get a receipt to write it off your taxes, espeically if it is a big ticket item! It adds up!
*Take used books to a book store that allows you to trade them in for store credit! Also, google websites that do the same. Any books you cannot get rid of, donate to your local library's "Friends of the Library" program or a donation program for soldiers/veterans.
*Another tip that I was given AFTER I had most of the house packed is to pack the boxes by room. Start in a room that is less used than others (a guest room perhaps) and move into the rooms that are most used (the kitchen, maybe).
*Label boxes on the top and on one side, and stack them all facing the same way (works awesome if all your boxes are like-sized). Reinforce the bottoms of boxes with extra packing tape, especially for heavy items.
*Clothes can be packed into suitcases and tubs. Especially seasonal clothing that could potentially be stored in the tubs in the off-season!

Above all, try to make the best of it and leave yourself enough time to pack efficiently !!! Moving is stressful! If there are other people in your household, make a promise not to take your stress out on each other! Take frequent breaks and get out of the house (even just to the front yard, sweet tea on the porch, walk down the street). Give each person a particular room or group of items to pack/be responsible for (the kids could pack all the toys and the husband could pack the garage!).
I am not looking forward to moving again in 5 months to our permanent address, but I hope to be more organized with less stuff by then!!

Fall Into The World of Writing

Writing.

Words. Paper. Pen. Scattered thoughts and ideas. People, places, and things. Notebook and laptop. Burning the midnight oil. Writer's block. Imagination. Reality. Poetry. Short stories. Fiction. Non-fiction. Submission. Rejection. Accpetance.

Today is breezy fall day in South Charlotte. Today I am surrounded by writer's market books and writing magazines in a well-known bookstore. So much information to absorb, so many places to start. Does one pick a certain topic and focus on just that one, or should a person explore many topics at the same time and see which one develops the best? 

I want to write. Poetry, children's books, columns, and blogs. I want to become a well-known author; to be published. Even if it were just locally to start.  How does one do this? How does one find their niche and increase their knowledge and expertise? Where does one start on their journey to be an aspiring writer? 


This is the start of my journey...my journey to a world where I will unleash the inner writer in me. A world where my imagination can run rampant; where the stories that have lived in the back of my file cabinet labeled "brain" can be brought out into the light. Write, write, write, Rewrite over and over. Add and take away. Submit and find rejection. Submit and find acceptance. 


Join me on this journey to find my niche in the writing world. Join me as I research and rewrite. Ask me questions, offer suggestions. Share your knowledge and I'll share mine. Learn together with me if you dream the same.