Serenity

Serenity
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Sunday, March 7, 2010

March--in like a Lion...out like a Lamb?

Here it is....March 2010 already! Only the 3rd month in the year and so much has happened already!! Most of it "drama llama" !! There is an incredible amount of stuff going on and I'm so ready for a vacation!!




The first part of February we got SNOW!! Yes REAL SNOW!!!

And it stuck!!! It was sooo gorgeous! I was like a kid in the candy store!! Rosco loved the snow and I even took the cats out in it!! Of course we were without power for several hours and other people were without it for the whole weekend but the snow was amazing!! Everything looked soo pretty and I took over 300 pictures! (Of course my sister beat me and took a couple thousand!). It has been years since I've seen snow and never enough to really remember it! My house looks good covered in snow!

30 days til PWYP!! The annual survival camping trip we take each year! I am so excited and I absolutely cannot wait to get there!! It will be so much fun reuniting with friends and enjoying a week away from technology (most of it) and away from drama and stupid people!! Cooking on the campfire, sleeping in the tent listening to the sounds of nature, playing in the creek, kayaking on the lake...and just having the opportunity to do nothing and enjoy it!

Catalyst is continually sooo awesome!! I am incredibly thankful for each person who makes up Catalyst and I'm so thankful they are in my life! I am so thankful that we have a pastor who speaks the truth and who makes us laugh every week at crazy analogies that amazingly reference the TRUTH in ways we'd never have thought! It is a blast on our monthly Famulari's trip too! !(Thats a local pizza joint that we basically take over the first Saturday of the month to fellowship after church!). The people there are so awesome, the food is delicious and its always a night of fun, lots of laughs and good times!! I'm glad we've made it a tradition!

School is okay. I still have a 4.0 GPA but I really only think its because the classes are online and open book. The last class was painfully hard and the teacher was NOT very good!! So far this current class is okay. Mostly excel work which is easy for me as I've worked with MS Office for as long as I can remember!! I'm hoping to be able to take some core credits this year but it will all depend on financial aid. I don't really want to take out too much in loans because my debt to income ratio is too high as it is and I may need to try to refinance the house when my divorce is final. So that means that I am waiting to find out about pell grants. Since I'm a part time student there aren't many scholarships available --- mostly scholarships seem to go to full time students!

Work is...well...work. I can't say it pays the bills but I guess it helps a little bit. I've picked up some odd jobs here and there but I'm looking for something more stable. I'm not looking forward to working 2-3 jobs but its what is going to have to happen. I know exactly what I need to bring home to break even. Hopefully something will start to work out very very soon!!

Well the majority of the drama lately has settled around my house..almost literally. For a while now I've noticed a 'not-so-nice" smell when entering my house and standing in the laundry room or the master closet. So I decided to clean out my tupperware cupboard, which is beside the fridge and on the same wall as my closet. I pull everything out and notice that the back of it looks wet. So Mom comes down to help me look and she sees water at the base of the wall behind the fridge. So we look at the water heater and it is sitting in a puddle of water and the walls around it are wet!!! ARGH!! The only thing we can figure is the water heater or its piping is leaking....it doesn't seem to be from the piping but I guess one can't be sure until the heater is taken out huh? Of course that means that the floor has to be replaced too (oh darn). So I have a friend who will replace both for me, I just have to buy the water heater. The electric company will reimburse me $200 for the heater so I will end up only paying about $100 for it. However finding the time to arrange it is a challenge.

So then I wake up Friday morning and my house is only 60 degrees and my "heat" is blowing ICE COLD FREEZING air!! Full blast and my auxilary heat is one!!! I'm like, what the heck?!?! I turn off the unit and post to facebook asking friends for referrals!~ (I got tons!!) Called one company and the guy comes out and is very sweet and very honest....the system I have is too small for the house, as ancient as can be, and is not worth trying to repair. I have to replace the whole system. Just $3200 (approx)! Pocket change right? Yikes!! So right now I'm managing with no heat in my house and probably will not have AC to start the summer out. May have to invest in a couple of big fans this year! I certainly do not have that money lying around and I cannot imagine how its going to work out. I will go through this summer without AC if I have to but I really dont want to. Guess I'd have to find a window unit or two if it came down to that. No heat is bad enough (although easier to deal with) but no AC? Yikes!

My attitude sucks when I'm beyond stressed and I really do not deal with it very well. I am mopey and moody, and basically have a big pity party! I dont mean to I just dont like chaos and hate it when it cant be fixed without money. I'm not asking to be rich I just want to be able to break even at the end of the month and be able to pay a little bit extra off on debt!!

I REALLY want to get my car paid off!! Then start stashing $$ into savings and work on either the house or the student loans (even though they aren't technically "due" until 6 months after I graduate).

My divorce should be final in the coming months. Its been a long and at times painful journey but God is shaping me through it. Someone asked me a few days ago if I would do it all again knowing what I know now. The simple answer to that is yes, I would. I would because it  has made me who I am today. Even knowing all the pain that I've gone through I would still do it over. There are many things I would want to change but overall I would say yes again.  Many people still think that I should stay angry at my soon to be ex and should hate him and shun him from the face of the earth but I don't. I don't hate him and I certainly don't wish any harm to him. Yes, I want him to be responsible for his actions and yes, I want the courts to do what needs to be done, but no, I am not going to be childish and hold a grudge. Yes, I was very angry for a long time but somewhere in the last few months God has washed that anger away and whats left in its place is pretty much just a sadness of the reality of the whole situation. Two wrongs don't make a right and there is no need to stay ugly if the two parties can agree to disagree and at least be on speaking terms, or just be polite to each other when needed. So as crazy as some people will think I am, I know that I have come to this crossroads on whether or not to be a "big girl" about it because God is still in control. He is still shaping my life and commanding my heart. Anyway..

There is a lot more drama entailed but its probably best if its not broadcasted right now!!

I am going next weekend down to a local mall and auditioning for the Wheel of Fortune Charleston show! I think it would be so cool to play on that show!! I have loved it all my life and used to solve the puzzles long before the contestants! I think I get that from my Nana! :)

Chonda Pierce is coming to Summerville and I can't wait to go see her!! I've heard lots about her and somehow she is actually related to my pastor! And then DAVE RAMSEY is coming to Charleston the next week!! I am so pumped about that!! I am a huge DR fan!! www.daveramsey.com

Well since its after 1 am I suppose thats all for tonight, er this morning!! Going to Magnolia's this afternoon with friends for a local rescue fundraiser, but first got to run out to the store to pick up papers, strawberries and a couple rainchecks!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ready!

I'm ready. For what you ask? I'm not sure what it is that I'm ready for, but I'm ready. I'm ready to see what new things God is going to do for me in this coming year. I'm ready to see what awesome things He is going to do with my church, Catalyst. I'm ready. I'm ready to "Run the race...to win the prize..."; I'm ready to see what great things He has in store for me.

I'm ready to do what I need to do to pay off bills and debt and build savings. I'm ready to find a small, cozy place to call my own that I can afford. I'm ready for new beginnings.

Catalyst was really, super awesome tonight! We talked about Job and how he had everything taken from him except his life and he praised God through every tragedy he faced. We talked about Christmas and what it is really all about. We talked about the names in Genesis 5: Adam, Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, & Noah. We talked about how these names mean (in order): Man, Appointed, Mortal, Sorrow, The Blessed God, Shall Come Down, Teaching, His death shall bring, The Despairing, Rest/Comfort. Do you see the beautiful message that is in Genesis 5, almost hidden in all those names? Read it again...."Man was Appointed, but he was Mortal, full of Sorrow. The Blessed God Shall Come Down Teaching and His death shall bring The Despairing, Rest & Comfort." What a beautiful promise that was made. Now, reread the meaning for "Jared"...."Shall Come Down". That's what Christmas is all about...about how Christ "came down" for us!! I love finding the "hidden" promises like these!!!

This is why I am ready! I am fired up and ready to roll!! Nothing like a beautiful night of preaching with amazing and wonderful friends and family to get you fired up and ready to roll for GOD! And since it's the first Saturday of the month, we went to Famulari's (a local pizza joint), and enjoyed some great pizza and awesome fellowship!

It is time....time to pull out Christmas decorations and put the tree up. Time to scrub the house down and reorganize. Time to enjoy friends and family who come to call. Time to clear out all the clutter....household clutter and "body" clutter too. Time to start fresh. Time to prioritize responsibilities and stay on top of things. It is time. There's beautiful weather outside, Christmas music on the radio, bright stars in the sky, holiday happenings around town, presents to buy and wrap...and unwrap too! Time for family gatherings, ham & turkey & all the fixings. Time to treasure our friends (and our family!!). Time to remember why we're here....to remember that there is a HIGHER calling! "This world is not my home, I'm just passing through."

As we move on into the Christmas season, full steam ahead....stop and remember the REASON for the SEASON! No greater gift has been given than that of Jesus Christ! His birth was the greatest gift of all and we are so blessed to be able to celebrate it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!

~~~JR~~~

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Amazing

Just a very quick blog here to update...hopefully more details soon!
Today has been a very good day!! Not only did I get a check in the mail for the refund of my student loans (excess not needed for this year), but at the BMA meeting tonight (school meeting), we were informed that come May 2010 there will be a new system to the online classes!! And new classes, cores and electives, will also be available online!! BUT the best part of this meeting is that come MAY....there will no longer be a mandatory weekly meeting!! THIS IS AWESOME because it means that I will be able to be a part of my small group!! I of course, want to be a part of it between Jan and May but at least I know that in May I will definitely be a part of it!!

God is soo good!! He has provided EVERY SINGLE MONTH this year! One month at a time and for sure not in MY time, but He has provided over and over and over and I just don't know how to thank Him enough!! I would normally stress terribly over bills not getting paid and such, but the last few times ends haven't met, I've just been like, "oh well, it will get paid when it gets paid. Something will give soon." And sure enough, every time, God makes a way for a little extra money to come my way!! I am so very thankful!

Romans 5 has stuck with me ever since we talked about it in small groups...."Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Ever since I started to tithe again, and ever since I began to depend solely on HIM again, everything has fallen into place time and time again. It is nothing I am doing....it is all GOD!! It is all HIS hands at work in my life. He has provided financially, emotionally, mentally, physically; He has provided the right person in my life at the right time; the right song on the radio or verse in my head; the right lesson or sermon at church; the right place at the right time. I am continually amazed at how AMAZING it is to watch GOD work in MY life!! Yes, in MY LIFE!!

In other news, Christmas season is now upon us! As usual I've waited til the last minute to get Christmas presents ready so now I'm scrambling. Got lots of good ideas and just trying to figure out how to put them together.

Last weight check I'd lost a total of 13lbs and almost 2 sizes this year. Finally below 140! (Yes, I just put that on blogger for all the world to see!!!) I've got 20-25 lbs left to go to meet my goal!! Another 3-4 sizes to go too. I've been walking a lot Friday-Monday, and for the most part I've been eating better but these last 2 weeks have been off---a lot of junk food and carbs found their way into my mouth! Well, thats okay because tomorrow is a new day and I can start over! I am proud that I've made it this far, even if it did take me this long to get here!! :)

I am almost ready to sew the first row of my quilt together!! I have to cut one more square and then I'm ready to roll....er...sew!! I'm so excited!! I cannot wait to put this together!! This row defines the rest of my blanket! I have pics posted on my facebook!!

That's about all for now!!! Busy weekend/week ahead of me! Best get some sleep so I can make it through! ;)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009

This is a post I sent in to a coupon site who was doing a "I'm thankful for..." blog for Thanksgiving. If you are reading this, I'm thankful for YOU! For what you bring into my life, for the joy of knowing you, and for the friendship I have with you!!


I am so very thankful for my Heavenly Father and the promises that He keeps to His children!! He has held me up through a very, very tough 2009 and has poured out blessings over and over on me. My life fell apart, or so it seemed, in the spring when my husband left me. Through Gods grace and my incredible family and church family, I walked through the tough times this trial has brought me and have seen Gods amazing hand at work over and over and over in every aspect of my life this year. It is only through His grace that I was able to “let go and let God” where my marriage was concerned, where my bills were concerned, where every aspect of life was concerned. I am continually amazed at and thankful for the work He is doing in my life. He has provided income every time it seemed that the bills wouldn’t get paid. He has provided words of comfort, encouragement, strength, peace, and wisdom at every turn through friends, family, His Word, my small group, my church, a song on the radio, a friends blog….so many very different ways He has provided!!

I am so very thankful for the blessings that couponing has afforded me, both for myself and for the people I’ve been able to bless with the coupon system. I am thankful for the money saved and the stocked pantry/freezer. I am forever thankful for the family that I have who has stood beside me and supported me in any way possible. I’m forever grateful for my friends who have stood by me in thick and thin. My church family is just incredibly awesome and I’m thankful for the chaotic events of 2008 that led to the birth of my church today! I am so thankful that God has a plan, and that he makes something good come from something we see as bad.

I am thankful for the little things in my life….a roof over my head, a well-running car, a job, good neighbors, food in my pantry, clothes on my back, friends, my dog, my cats, good health, fall weather, a good book to read, my front porch swing…and so much more!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

November...a New Month

It is November! A new month with new goals! I have a lot that I want to accomplish and if I write it down it has more of a chance of getting done that if I just say it. So for this first week of November...my biggest goal is to lose 2 lbs. That is a huge goal for me and will include increased exercise and less junk food.



Here is my potential "schedule" for this week:

Monday---day off; run errands; 10 min workout; 2 miles + walk/jog; clean house; find 2 recipes to cook this week

Tues---work; 10 min workout during lunch;

Wed—work; 10 min workout at lunch; class (no walk)

Thurs---work; 2-3 miles in PM (break from 10 min workout)/homework

Friday—day off; chiropractic appointment; potential hour walk with friend; errands; 2 miles+ (if AM walk doesn’t happen)



In the midst of all this I want to cook at least twice this week (got chicken thawing for rolled Italian chicken) which includes a main dish, a veggie, and a potential bread recipe. This week I also want to clean my windows and clean out my fridge/freezer. But I dont want to spend all of my days off doing chores. I'm learning to let some things go so that I can enjoy life, the beautiful weather, friends and family. I'm also learning to continually praise, worship, and seek God! Its amazing the perspective of life you have when your focus is on Him! He makes all things new and He is faithful.



A friend of mine and I are challenging each other to find ways to live frugally, eat better, exercise more and get our houses back in shape (both physically and mentally, spiritually and emotionally). So together hopefully we will encourage and inspire each other to accomplish some of our goals. To have that accountability partner in life makes all the difference sometimes and it's really awesome to have someone to bounce around ideas and thoughts.



My journey this year has been a roller coaster. It has been up and it has been down. I've been on top of the mountain and I've been in the lowest of valleys. But always my God has been right there ...pulling me through and holding me close. Through the trials and tribulations that 2009 has brought my way, God has been pursuing me. He has been molding me and He has been preparing me. I have chosen to praise Him and to serve Him while I'm waiting for His works to unfold. I've chosen to be faithful and to listen to Him ... in return He has blessed me over and over and over. Even when I fall back into my "human" mindset of "this isnt' working; there is no way", etc; God is still faithful; He is still proving Himself over and over and again. I have been drawn so much closer to Him this year than ever before. A lot of sadness has happened and there are some things that I still find myself crying over, but God is making this into something amazing!! I am so excited about the possibilities He has in store for me. I'm excited to find that spot where I'm supposed to be. I'm excited to meet the people He is putting into my life. I'm happy. I'm peaceful and content with what He is doing. I'm content to wait on Him; to learn to depend continually on Him through the good and the bad. I am making changes in my life that I pray will stay with me. I am attempting to get out of debt quickly so that I can be a better steward of my money. I am attempting to find additional sources of income so as to pay off debt, build savings, fix the house, and just in general keep everything up to date.



God is teaching me a tremendous amount of knowledge from His Word. He is continually surrounding me with godly people who are a great encouragement to me. We are studying Romans in small groups at church and it is incredible how much it relates to my own life right now!! Read Chapter 5!!



So this November, as we move into the holiday season, I am thankful for my church, to the people who have wrapped their arms around time and time again to rejoice or to cry with me; who have taught me so incredibly much about life and God. I'm thankful for my family--as crazy as they are ;)--for always being there for me and loving me! I'm thankful for my friends--all of them--each one is special and contributes to my life in ways they may never know. I'm thankful for my God, who is my Rock, my Creator, my Supporter, my Comfort, my Strength, my Wisdom, my Joy!! I'm thankful for a job, to be caught up on bills, to have paid off some debt this year, for the glorious weather, for beautiful music and for good health!!



God is amazing!!





Saturday, October 31, 2009

Life As I Know It

It has been a very long time since I have written any kind of poetry or short stories. I miss it. I miss the freedom of writing and the satisfaction of making something come together. I have not felt any motivation to actually write but today I was going through some things and this just hit me. And it is so incredibly true!! So much of my testimony from 2009 is found here in this poem. Life as I know it has truly come to end this year and I have truly begun to begin again. God is amazing and I can't thank Him enough!



~~JR~~



Life as I know It

Life as I know it has come to an end,

Now it is time to begin again.

With blessed assurance I cling to Christ,

My hope is in Him and I walk in the Light.

The trials of this world cannot keep me down,

The stress of human life will not make me frown.

My God above has a plan for me,

His plan has no harm, only prosperity.

His mercy and grace surround me like smoke,

His glorious love fills me with hope.

My God is my Rock and He is faithful and true,

He will not let me fail, He will carry me through.

When times are hard I cry out His name,

In the valley or on the mountain, I will praise Him every day.

Life as I know it has come to an end,

Now with God’s help, I will begin again.

Copyright ©October 31, 2009 Humminbird Creations

Life As I Know It

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It has been a very long time since I have written any kind of poetry or short stories. I miss it. I miss the freedom of writing and the satisfaction of making something come together. I have not felt any motivation to actually write but today I was going through some things and this just hit me. And it is so incredibly true!! So much of my testimony from 2009 is found here in this poem. Life as I know it has truly come to end this year and I have truly begun to begin again. God is amazing and I can't thank Him enough!

~~JR~~

Life as I know It
Life as I know it has come to an end,
Now it is time to begin again.
With blessed assurance I cling to Christ,
My hope is in Him and I walk in the Light.
The trials of this world cannot keep me down,
The stress of human life will not make me frown.
My God above has a plan for me,
His plan has no harm, only prosperity.
His mercy and grace surround me like smoke,
His glorious love fills me with hope.
My God is my Rock and He is faithful and true,
He will not let me fail, He will carry me through.
When times are hard I cry out His name,
In the valley or on the mountain, I will praise Him every day.
Life as I know it has come to an end,
Now with God’s help, I will begin again.
Copyright ©October 31, 2009 Humminbird Creations